Thinking Out Loud: 1/23

I’m linking up again with the lovely Spoons for Thinking Out Loud; however, this is a bit different from previous weeks. Instead of dumping a whole bunch of random thoughts on the blog – I’m being topical today – and it’s a bit of a heavy topic, so please bear with me if it’s turned ranty and makes little sense….

When you hear “mind the gap” do you think of this:

Or this?

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a “thigh gap” picture that isn’t totally porn-like?!

If I were to bet, I’d say the majority of people would actually be in the second camp, especially with the popularity of sites like The Chive and their frequent “mind the gap” posts.

Now, before I start getting ranty (and I probably will) I do have to say I quite enjoy the Cat Saturday and Best of Tapiture posts on The Chive, even the Daily Awesomeness/Randomness posts are enjoyable at times, so I’m not a Chive hater, m’kay?

My problem with the “mind the gap” type posts is the implication that you must have a thigh gap in order to be attractive. Comments made by Chip Wilson, and the American Apparel dude (I’m far to lazy to Google his name and honestly, IDGAF what is it) only help to exacerbate the issue.

While I recognize the majority of the photos submitted to The Chive are user submitted, I still feel having an entire category dedicated to thigh gap is only perpetuating the ideal that in order to be attractive and worthy women must have a thigh gap and, well, that makes me a bit ragey.

It turns out when you Google “women thigh gap physiology” you get a lot of ranty posts about it – this made me smile. Here’s a sampling of a few of the articles:

• No, the Thigh Gap’s Not Really Possible, Here’s Why
• Things to Obsess About Instead of Thigh Gap
• Mind The Thigh Gap: Is This Yet Another Thing for Women To Worry About? (excerpt below)

The problem with thigh gaps isn’t that some people have them, it’s the fact that they’re being fetishised as some sort of physical ideal (as opposed to just one of many body types).

• Of thigh gaps, calories and ignorance on how bodies actually work
• Why the Thigh Gap Makes Me Sad

I could probably link for days to all the posts speaking out against this thigh gap ideology, but the truth is, linking to posts isn’t going to change that there are websites and sections of websites entirely dedicated to glorify the thigh gap.

I don’t have much profound to say on this topic other than we need to stop feeling less than and believing we are less than. We are not. We are good and beautiful and worthy just as we are. We don’t need a thigh gap, or to fit into a certain size, or to have our hip bones sticking out (gross) in order to justify our self-worth.

The most beautiful people I know are the ones whose beauty radiates from the outside. I’m sure you’ve met that kind of person, the one where you notice something different about them, but you really aren’t certain what is it. That, my friends, is confidence.

Being confident makes you a rock star! Forget about these stupid messages, we are good enough. I mean, if these people are stupid enough to Photoshop Jennifer Lawrence, they have no idea what beauty even is.

Morons.

I remember when I swam, I’d walk in such a way so my thighs didn’t touch when I walked down the pool deck. I was a teenager training 15-20 hours a week – let me tell you – I was in shape there was nothing to indicate a non-thigh gap meant I wasn’t fit or healthy, and yet, even then, I felt I needed a thigh gap to be considered attractive (thus leading into disordered eating). I even remember a time after going through one of my disordered eating bouts when my thighs didn’t touch and I felt worthy.

Seriously. How sad is that?! I received self-worth from my thighs. Awful.

Now, as a runner, if my thighs touch it’s because they’re muscled. Muscled enough to push my body to run marathons and do squats and lunges (I actually wrote lunches here – it’s obvious I’m highly focused on food!) and keep me healthy.

Tell me: What are your thoughts on this fixation with “thigh gap”? Do you think sites like The Chive help to intensify the unhealthy ideal?

How How I Feel Affects My Body Image

Ugh, what a totally awkward post title, but I’m assuming y’all understand what I mean 😉

It’s no secret that I’ve been not 100% healthy for a little over a month. I’ve done my best not to whine about it, but not being able to run, cross train and go to yoga has really started to affect me.

Last Wednesday I had an absolutely crap-tastic treadmill run. I set out to do an easy 10k and 5 minutes in I knew it probably wasn’t going to happen. I kept trying to stay positive and set a mini goal of making it to 30 minutes and then evaluating from there. Well, at 23 minutes I stopped running and walked the remaining 7 minutes.

Crap-tastic, indeed.

What I noticed after the run, is I started feeling bad about my body.

I started picking at how my pants fit, at how I’d gained (a small amount of) weight over the Christmas break.

Pick. Pick. Pick.

I know that feeling unwell and not being able to do the things I know I capable of doing affects how I feel about myself – this was a perfect example.

Gaining 4-6 pounds because I’ve been sick for, oh, roughly six weeks, and survived off alcohol and sugar for a week over Christmas is hardly significant. Like, barely.

My clothes all fit the same(ish), and I don’t feel all wibbly-wobbly (mostly) when I move.

But –

I don’t feel healthy.

Running, yoga, cross training: these are all things I include in my life because they make me feel better. It’s one thing to choose not to run because I have other commitments, it’s another to be unable to run because I’m not well.

I’m perfectly fine making a choice to take a day or two off from running when it’s my choice, but I really do feel like my body is betraying me with this dang cold because right now?! It’s not my choice.

I made the decision to take last Thursday off from running because my run on Wednesday made me feel worse. <– dumb.

I have no issues running through a cold (the sinus infection was completely different) but I’m not willing to push my recovery to healthfulness back just so I can get a few runs in, especially if those runs top out at 20 minutes because I can’t continue.

Can we also talk about how frustrating it is to run for 20 minutes and then have to take a freaking shower because I may have only ran for 20 minutes but I’m still a sweaty beast and needed (seriously, needed) to shower. How freaking stupid.

It’s certainly been eye-opening for me to see the distinct connection between how I feel health-wise and how I feel about my body.

Tell me: Does how you feel health-wise correlate to how you feel about your body?

Tales of the Scale

Hi. This scale is totally tongue-in-cheek and I hope y’all can appreciate that an not be offended because OMG I’m talking about the SCALE today!

This morning I decided to weigh myself. When I did I saw a number that was higher than I normally like for it to be.

A year ago, seeing a number in my higher range would have affected my whole day. I would first shame myself for not being more mindful about food, for eating that cookie and drinking that beer, and then I would continue to be in a bad mood, shaming myself throughout the rest of the day. All because of a silly number on a scale.

While the past year has certainly been a challenge for me, so much good has come of it.

I no longer value myself based upon a weight or a size.

I am confident in my body and it’s ability to carry me through marathons.

I remember reading an article in a magazine with some famous person who was, most likely, a size zero. I don’t remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of she weighed herself every day and if the number was slightly high (we’re talking a pound) she’d put on her skinny jeans and only eat carrot sticks.

That stuck with me for years.

I have a suspicion a lot of my weight shame and judgement, came from this quote. I feel so often we’re told that if we aren’t bothered by the number on the scale, then we’re not okay. We’re told we should be upset with higher numbers. At least, that’s what a lot of celebrity quotes and magazine quotes would lead us to believe.

Well friends, I believe it’s okay to be okay with the number on the scale, no matter what that number is.

For me, I have a number that, as I get close to it, I know it’s time to be a bit more mindful of food and exercise. That number does not define me, but I know I feel better physically when I’m not at that number. You probably have a similar number, too. I believe that’s okay; it’s okay to prefer to be a certain weight, or a certain size. We’re allowed to feel comfortable and confident in our bodies, but remember, we, as people are not defined by that number, or that size.

I won’t weigh myself more than once a week (if that) because if I start to more frequently then I know I’ll start to equate that number with my self-worth. A few years ago I worked with a girl who would weigh herself every morning and announce her weight to other co-workers. While I was impressed with her resolve to watch what she was eating and lose weight, it became painfully obvious over a number of weeks and months that she was deriving her self-worth from that number each and every morning. It became burdensome for co-workers to hear about it every morning.

Good and bad days should never be defined by a number (not even the number in your bank account!).

I’m not indicating what my number is, because my number is different from your number. We’re all built differently and as such, someone my height may be 10 pounds heavier or 10 pounds lighter and it will be healthy for them.

Do you have a healthy relationship with your scale and body?