Ugh, what a totally awkward post title, but I’m assuming y’all understand what I mean 😉
It’s no secret that I’ve been not 100% healthy for a little over a month. I’ve done my best not to whine about it, but not being able to run, cross train and go to yoga has really started to affect me.
Last Wednesday I had an absolutely crap-tastic treadmill run. I set out to do an easy 10k and 5 minutes in I knew it probably wasn’t going to happen. I kept trying to stay positive and set a mini goal of making it to 30 minutes and then evaluating from there. Well, at 23 minutes I stopped running and walked the remaining 7 minutes.
What I noticed after the run, is I started feeling bad about my body.
I started picking at how my pants fit, at how I’d gained (a small amount of) weight over the Christmas break.
Pick. Pick. Pick.
I know that feeling unwell and not being able to do the things I know I capable of doing affects how I feel about myself – this was a perfect example.
Gaining 4-6 pounds because I’ve been sick for, oh, roughly six weeks, and survived off alcohol and sugar for a week over Christmas is hardly significant. Like, barely.
My clothes all fit the same(ish), and I don’t feel all wibbly-wobbly (mostly) when I move.
I don’t feel healthy.
Running, yoga, cross training: these are all things I include in my life because they make me feel better. It’s one thing to choose not to run because I have other commitments, it’s another to be unable to run because I’m not well.
I’m perfectly fine making a choice to take a day or two off from running when it’s my choice, but I really do feel like my body is betraying me with this dang cold because right now?! It’s not my choice.
I made the decision to take last Thursday off from running because my run on Wednesday made me feel worse. <– dumb.
I have no issues running through a cold (the sinus infection was completely different) but I’m not willing to push my recovery to healthfulness back just so I can get a few runs in, especially if those runs top out at 20 minutes because I can’t continue.
Can we also talk about how frustrating it is to run for 20 minutes and then have to take a freaking shower because I may have only ran for 20 minutes but I’m still a sweaty beast and needed (seriously, needed) to shower. How freaking stupid.
It’s certainly been eye-opening for me to see the distinct connection between how I feel health-wise and how I feel about my body.