Since 2014 is only now two days away, I figured I should finally get on sharing some of my thoughts on 2013. Since I’m in the habit of being ridiculously honest, I’ve been avoiding writing and reflecting. See, depending on my mood, the day, the position of the sun, whatever, I flip-flop between thinking 2013 wasn’t too bad and thinking it was kind of shitty and awful.
Logic tells me it’s probably some place in between.
While I love reading reflections month by month of people’s blogs, I think I might table that for now (you never know, it might pop up in a day or two!) and instead I want to reflect back on 2013.
At the start of the year when I reflected on 2012, I cried. A lot. I knew I needed to focus more on me and loving me in 2013 and I can say I was definitely successful with that. There are some days when I might have more love for me than others, but I can say with certainty that 2013 is the year I learned to love myself.
In 2013 I also lived on my own for the first time ever. Yup, you read that right. I knew it would be challenging, but I also knew it was something I absolutely needed to do in order to learn about me, to accept me and to grow as a person.
From the two items above, 2013 was definitely a year of me. Loving me and doing things for me, like running.
Oh running. If I’ve ever talked to you about running, you’ve heard me say that running saved me. It’s true. Running absolutely saved me. On the days where I was miserable and just felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out, running helped. I wouldn’t always come out of it cheerful, but I’d at least have my thoughts in order (or, in some semblance of an order; any reader of my blog knows my thoughts and words don’t always come out making sense).
I also let go of friendships that were no longer serving me. I never like losing a friend and in the past I’ve held onto friendships that hurt me, but this year I let those go, and I did it without guilt. While I’m still sad to have seen those friendships go, I do believe they were in my life for a purpose and I’m glad to have had them.
Letting go of what no longer served me allowed me to open myself up to people I could trust, and I’ve formed amazing new friendships this year with people I love and I know love me back. (Pardon me, I seem to have something in my eye…..) I’ve also reconnected with old friends; one of the best feelings in the world is reconnecting with someone and feeling like nothing has changed.
A lot of what I’ve written is pretty fluffy, but, 2013 was a pretty fluffy year for me. Yes, there were some bad parts and some parts that still hurt deeply when I think about them, but I also know that I’ve grown more than I could have ever imagined and I’m absolutely certain that 2014 will include more growth – and hopefully some more concrete thoughts and feelings!