This morning I decided to weigh myself. When I did I saw a number that was higher than I normally like for it to be.
A year ago, seeing a number in my higher range would have affected my whole day. I would first shame myself for not being more mindful about food, for eating that cookie and drinking that beer, and then I would continue to be in a bad mood, shaming myself throughout the rest of the day. All because of a silly number on a scale.
While the past year has certainly been a challenge for me, so much good has come of it.
I no longer value myself based upon a weight or a size.
I am confident in my body and it’s ability to carry me through marathons.
I remember reading an article in a magazine with some famous person who was, most likely, a size zero. I don’t remember the exact quote, but it was something along the lines of she weighed herself every day and if the number was slightly high (we’re talking a pound) she’d put on her skinny jeans and only eat carrot sticks.
That stuck with me for years.
I have a suspicion a lot of my weight shame and judgement, came from this quote. I feel so often we’re told that if we aren’t bothered by the number on the scale, then we’re not okay. We’re told we should be upset with higher numbers. At least, that’s what a lot of celebrity quotes and magazine quotes would lead us to believe.
Well friends, I believe it’s okay to be okay with the number on the scale, no matter what that number is.
For me, I have a number that, as I get close to it, I know it’s time to be a bit more mindful of food and exercise. That number does not define me, but I know I feel better physically when I’m not at that number. You probably have a similar number, too. I believe that’s okay; it’s okay to prefer to be a certain weight, or a certain size. We’re allowed to feel comfortable and confident in our bodies, but remember, we, as people are not defined by that number, or that size.
I won’t weigh myself more than once a week (if that) because if I start to more frequently then I know I’ll start to equate that number with my self-worth. A few years ago I worked with a girl who would weigh herself every morning and announce her weight to other co-workers. While I was impressed with her resolve to watch what she was eating and lose weight, it became painfully obvious over a number of weeks and months that she was deriving her self-worth from that number each and every morning. It became burdensome for co-workers to hear about it every morning.
Good and bad days should never be defined by a number (not even the number in your bank account!).
I’m not indicating what my number is, because my number is different from your number. We’re all built differently and as such, someone my height may be 10 pounds heavier or 10 pounds lighter and it will be healthy for them.