I have a confession to make.
I miss Kate.
Like, really miss her (and Will too).
I think I’m going through withdrawal.
I’ve been able to make it a little better by redirecting my obsession to Harry Potter and watching this goodbye clip and crying. (Also? Totally check out these cartoons, you can download high res copies for your personal use for a limited time. So awesome!)
(Unrelated: kind of. When in the world did Neville get HOT?!)
(And, the Kate Middleton – Harry Potter link is totally there. One: they all share the same accent. Two: I’m certain Kate has read some HP [who hasn’t?!]. Totally linked)
Since I’m going through such withdrawals, I’ve decided that I should be best friends with the Dutchess of Cambridge.
Originally, I thought that maybe Hot Harry (thanks, Lainey, yes, I’m stealing it) and I should hook up. I mean, I could totally put him on my list and all, but, I don’t think the list covers marriages, and…..I’m already married. But – do you think a brief encounter would enable me to be besties with Kate? No? Okay. I was even willing to let Hot Harry have his dalliances since, well, he doesn’t appear to want to settle down. Heck, he even hung out with the current gf’s ex over the weekend [did y’all just watch my IQ drop fifty billion points there?!], so he’d totally be cool with being married and having a mistress on the side, right? Although, I don’t think it would work.
So, I think we’ll just need to find a way to be besties.
A friend of mine wants the Queen to adopt her, and, sure, that might be cool and all, but then Kate would only hang out with me because she had to. I’d be like the drunk uncle at weddings, except I wouldn’t be drunk (okay, not all the time) and I’m nobody’s uncle (yeah, bad analogy).
So, I’ve decided to come up with reason’s why Kate and I should be best friends. Hmmmm. I should probably stop calling her Kate and call her Dutchess, right? No. Wait. That sounds like I’m calling a cat or something, let’s go with Catherine.
Kate Middleton Dutchess Catherine should be besties with me:
- I have a keen fashion sense (also, I use keen in sentences)
- My grandma and great-grandma are from England, so I kind of think that makes us related somehow
- I’m fun
- I’m rather cute
- If we stand next to one another, I’ll always make her look good because I’m shorter and fatter than she is
- I put people’s needs ahead of mine (see the previous point)
- I mimic accents when I’m around people – it’s like a fun party trick!
- Speaking of party trick’s, I can also put my fist in my mouth! That’s totally going to be needed at some royal party or something, right?!
- I can be scrappy, so I can totes punch the pap’s in the face if they come too near her and the Duke
- I’m moderately athletic, like Pippa, so since I have something in common with her sister (Pippa’s ass is definitely better than mine) we already have a stepping stone
- I wanted to marry Prince William when I was a teen, so I already know I like her husband and we all know that disliking your bestie’s husband is a total no-no
- I know they don’t want “staff” and all, but if I’m her bestie, I can totally babysit their babies (BABIES!)
So, what do you think? Think she and the Duke will come out of hiding during their “break” so I can meet them and be her best friend?
I’ll totally braid her hair……